April 29th, 2025 10:01 PM Thursday:
Well, I spent an hour and a half cooking... My husband just left out of the kitchen about 40 minutes ago from eating supper. I did not even get a "thank you baby for cooking for me".... WHAT kind of a person comes in and eats a person's hard work cooked homemade meal and can not even say "Thank You"... because they have "their ass over their shoulders"??? (This is an old saying I made up about 40 years ago!! I don't know if it's ever been used a great deal by anyone but it means someone that is so stupidly mad about NON sense that they can't even be civil and kind as a common curtesy!!)
I wanted to cook an early supper about 3 or 4pm... Actually I tried to cook lunch between noon and 2pm and my husband kept saying he wasn't really hungry... then about 4 he said he was getting hungry was I?? I told him I'd go on and cook supper then.... He said at 4pm he was going to work in the yard. HE DID NOT GO OUTSIDE UNTIL ABOUT 6:30 PM!!!!!!!!!! THUS, I waited over two hours and didn't cook because he kept saying he was going outside...
Then when he finally went out to mow, he said he wanted to mow the dog yard first?? OK... I just told him ok. When he got out there ALL he did was try to start a fight by bitching and griping. He kept on about the holes the dogs have dug, about how tall the weeds were... that the yard had not been cut in 4 months... AND HE EVEN GRIPED ABOUT DOG POOP BEING IN THE YARD. Imagine that... dog poop being in the dog yard? (It's part of the back yard that runs about 90 ft from front to back on one side of our city house and it about 9 ft wide then widens out at the other end to about 22 ft wide x 16 ft.) THE FACTS ARE THIS YARD WAS BUILT SPECIFICALLY FOR DOGS WHEN MY HUSBAND AND I MARRIED OVER 5 YEARS AGO. He just decided about a year and a half, or so, ago to put a compost pit in it... about 4 x 5 ft pile, KNOWING it's the DOG'S YARD!! IF you are going to put a damn compost pit in a dog yard don't bitch and complain about the dogs digging around it when you constantly put all kinds of food straps in it!!! I'm so sick of "his compost" pit. I'm sick of him (my husband) saving compost anyway. He brings home 3 and 4 gallon tubs of coffee grinds from work a week or more!! I told him that's too much coffee grinds and not enough dirt for plants. ANYWAY, he could have made the damn thing outside the dog's yard but that would have been TOO simple, and left him nothing to bitch about.
I went out there and took a freaking shovel and cut down ALL the weeds (they were soft stem weeds and wild flowers) all the way around the inside the fence. YET, he still bitched and threw fits about the "dog shit" out there... and... and ...and.... I told him that's not true that the dog poop had not been picked up in four months. I TOLD HIM I JUST MOWED IT ABOUT 2 OR 2 1/2 WEEKS AGO. (THE DOG YARD DOESN'T NEED MOWING EVERY WEEK BECAUSE THEY KEEP THE GRASS DOWN ALSO.) He said, "Look at this yard, who would do this to their spouse? I want my back yard back." I asked him, "Do what? Have 2 dogs? What and how is that hurting you or anyone's spouse?" I also added, "WE BUILD THIS TO BE A DOG YARD FIVE YEARS AGO!!"
He knows what I said is complete truth. My husband came inside one time and started his mentally and emotionally abusive rages. He said "I don't even go to our old country house anymore.. Doesn't that bother you? I don't even want to go up there anymore. DO you think you are getting that place when we split up?"
I did not say a word back to him. I did however talk to God about it. HOW much stupid nerve does my husband have, to come inside when he's supposed to be moving the back dog yard, (when he's already forbid me to mow it.... I've MOWED it the last two times in the last 5 weeks)... AND to start his RAGES and ABUSE of me? WHAT he said, I will not forget. I told God I WILL HAVE my OWN house and property and be gone SOON... When I am my husband will walk around and remember all his meanness and hatefulness to me. He saying that about did I think I was getting our old country house if we split up was like a last draw, ONCE again. He just said it for the shock value, and to try to uspet me, however, there will come a day he will regret it because I WILL NOT BE HERE. I will be in my own comfortable, peaceful, abundant home, on my own peaceful beautiful property, and I will not worry about our life that he threw away, or all the love had for him that he destroyed with his abuse of me.
ANOTHER THING.... My husband worked outside an hour and a half and then came inside and went directly into our bedroom and got into bed in his filthy sweat pants and shirt, both wet with sweat and dirty, and no telling what else from him digging in the compose pit and from mowing. HOW disrespectful is that??? HOW horribly of hygiene is that? I'm truly tired and fed up with attempting to keep him and this house semi clean!!
I spent about 40 minutes working in the back yard. After I got done, I said, "YOU KNOW WHAT??" to my huge shepherd boy, and the pit bull puppy, who is now actually a dog now, and a year old. I said, "COME ON BOYS we are going in the house." They were at my heels and inside we went. I put the pit bull in his big crate and left my big shepherd boy out with me, and my 7 year old girl, as I begin cooking supper. ALL three being inside were no trouble at all, with my three cats. (We are truly "a peaceable Kingdom" when we are with each other...) My husband came inside after about another 40 or 50 minutes and went straight to our bedroom and got straight into our bed ---- filthy.
While my three dogs where inside I put their de-flea meds on all of them, and gave them snacks. My huge shepherd boy is so loyal to me. After my husband come in and went into our bedroom, I went in there to our bathroom and my shepherd boy followed me to the bedroom door, where I told him "stay" as I shut the door to go to the bathroom. I came out about 10 minutes later and there he stood... Bless his heart, still waiting on me.
WE ~~>>> as in my dogs and cats and I could / would live such a calm, peaceful, happy life in our own home, on our own property!! It will be such a relief NOT to deal with rage and not to have to walk on egg shells, or be abused at any moment, because someone hates their own self, and has to attempt to deflect their feelings to others as blame, because they can't face their own selves... sigh.
I'm exhausted tonight. My husband said this morning he works he next 6 days and then he's off a week. I PRAY GOD, let him NOT be off a week. Let overtime COME UP and let him take it. I need him to be at work where I can have some PEACE and recover time. He's been off three days in a row several times lately and was just off an entire week about a month ago. PLEASE give him over time that he can't refuse where he is NOT off a week God.
I have three websites ready to begin to sell things/times, etc. I've in the process of figuring out just WHAT sell... sigh. I want to begin with a few items that are GOOD sellers, trending, and will make be immediate income streams. God help me... AMEN.
